Weekly Sermon Number 1

Dec 16, 2006

3:26 PM

I read one of those chain bulletins this week that concluded by threatening me with twelve years of relationship problems if I didn't repost it. I wrote back to the sender that it wouldn't feel like I was in a relationship if there weren't problems. They sent back an "lol." But it is funny, and at the same time sad, because it's true.

I've done some research into healthy relationships. Not that I really expect to have one, but I was curious how they are supposed to work. Ideally, we are supposed to become autonomous individuals before we enter into a relationship. As far as I can make out, autonomous means you don't need anyone. So why would we enter into a relationship if we don't need anyone? The experts say that once people become autonomous, they may enter into a relationship to cure their loneliness, but they don't need to.

Does this mean that the experts find loneliness to be an acceptable condition? Personally, I find loneliness to be abhorrent. When I am in a lonely condition, I cannot identify the part of my psyche that needs help. That's all I'm going to say about me because this sermon should be about us.

Let's get back to what the experts say. I've read a theory that says we are programmed to be attracted to people who have the worst traits of both of our parents. We do this because we want to go back and fix things. We want to solve the problems from our childhood with our significant other. This is why so many relationships fail. Think about it. Were your problems with your parents even fathomable, let alone fixable?

We'll have a brief moment of silence here for those of you who are experiencing a denial fit.

We keep it up though. We keep picking the people who have the same "core issues," and wondering why our relationships fail. I've considered my own relationships, and I'll be damned if it ain't true. I keep hoping that things will get better while I am enthralled by some unreasonable attraction.   Before you know it, we’re crying and heartbroken over a "pair of shoes that   don't     quite         fit."

Well that's the inaugural sermon. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope you found it useful. See you next week.