Sep 5, 2007
A couple of copywriting jobs that I've applied for requested a script for a TV commercial. This is a convenient place to place the sample. Plus, you all know how I love to share with you.
Copyright 2007
An attractive lingerie-wearing woman with a dreamy expression on her face is laying in bed bathed in moonlight from a window. She reaches into her nightstand, pulls out a largish vibrator. and gives the end a twist while the announcer says;
ANNOUNCER Are you tired of noisy vibrators that alert your family, friends and neighborhood to your activity?
The woman twists the vibrator to "On" and it sounds like a chainsaw. The scene cuts to; children bolting up in bed with mouth gaping expressions of surprise, a dog walking neighbor looks toward the woman's house, rolls his eyes and chuckles, and a surprised burglar drops a crystal bowl in the woman's dining room.
ANNOUNCER Well say goodbye to those noisy, old school contraptions!
A bunch of vibrators and a goodly sized cucumber are thrown into the trashcan. Then a hand quickly snatches the cucumber back out of the trashcan.
ANNOUNCER Felix Industries has perfected quiet time with their Genesis II (two) Vibrators. The Genesis II has exclusive wiggle worm technology to make sure that your quiet time stays that way.
A technical animation shows the elliptical cam rotating inside a cutaway view of the vibrator.
ANNOUNCER Yes. Your self-pleasure will be whisper quiet with the Genesis II Vibrator.
The woman is shown in bed. She tentatively turns on the vibrator and scrunches her shoulders and nose while grinning gleefully.
ANNOUNCER Don't you just hate it when toy time becomes noise time?
An elderly woman is shown in bed in a matronly nightgown. She turns on a vibrator and it sounds like a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Scared—she fumbles and drops the appliance.
ANNOUNCER Nothing will break the mood faster than a roaring vibrator. Now, whether at home, work, or play, you can find the satisfaction you desire with the Genesis II without all of that attention grabbing noise.
When the announcer says "home" there is a quick shot of the woman sitting in front of her computer with her robe ajar, and her left hand below the table while she moves the mouse around. There is a look of inquisitive delight on her face. When the announcer says "work" we see a pair of female legs with panties around the ankles and some quivering below the door of a bathroom stall. When the announcer says "play" we see the woman stuck in a traffic jam. She darts looks around and reaches into her purse.
ANNOUNCER With the Genesis II you will be able to hear the sweet nothings your honey whispers in your ear.
There is a shoulder up shot of a much older, shirtless man whispering into the ear of a much younger, but legal, apparently nude woman while reclining on a bed. The young woman's head rolls around a little and her chin strains toward climax.
ANNOUNCER And solo, your business stays your business because no one can hear you massaging your pearl.
We see a pair of children transfixed by the TV. There is an open door to a bedroom behind them. The woman approaches the door. Turns and looks at her children. She makes an exaggerated nod while smiling broadly and ducks quickly into the bedroom with the door closing rapidly behind her.
Cut to a shot of a bedraggled looking lab technician in a paisley lab coat approaching a demonstration table in a lab. A lone Genesis II sits in the middle of the table.
ANNOUNCER With its patented Varistat control you'll enjoy excellent fine tuning capability . . .
The lab tech picks up the vibrator and turns it on to its lowest speed, and replaces it on the table. The vibrator quakes about every second.
ANNOUNCER . . . that cycles from 60 to 6,000 pulses per minute . . .
The lab tech picks up the vibrator, turns the control all of the way up and returns it to the table. The thing goes nuts.
ANNOUNCER . . . you're certain to find just the right frequency to send you over the top in waves of ecstasy.
We see a shot of the woman's free hand clutching desperately at the fitted sheet of her bed.
ANNOUNCER The Genesis II keeps your quiet time quiet.
WOMAN OH, GOD!
Cut to child's bedroom with the startled darling bolting upright.
CHILD What's wrong, Mommy?
Cut back to spent woman who now has her free forearm across her forehead.
WOMAN I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning.
ANNOUNCER The Genesis II is also available in egg and strap-on models.
Product shot of all three vibrator models nicely arrayed.
ANNOUNCER Batteries and lubricants not included. The makers of Genesis II do not advocate its use while driving, flying, operating heavy machinery, or engaging in unprotected, loveless sex.
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