Hookups

Sep 3, 2006

10:49 AM

My friend, S___, got lucky at On The Waterfront last night. She hooked up with an old flame who is recently divorced after a ten year marriage. After doing some quick math, I have concluded that S___ near deflowered this guy. She said that their affair was torrid and steamy. I'm guessing that it concluded with a good-sized explosion.

This guy is hairy. He has a beard and really long, curly hair. Imagine a thin hippie with black, horn-rimmed glasses who has been time-traveled to the present. He had a half-gallon, Mountain Dew, sippy cup filled with vodka and lemonade, and he kept hitting on a bowl all night. I told him that I would like to fire it up with him, but due to drug testing, which us truck drivers are subjected to, it wouldn’t be a wise move. After all, I do have to support myself.

Anyway, I played Cupid. S___ said she wanted him, and that she thought he was interested. She told me this while we were walking to Kryptonite after Lee Rocker played at the Left Bank stage. Once we got to Kryptonite we got some two-dollar "old school cans" of beer and grabbed a table outside. The crowd was fun to watch. The band struck me as odd, and when S___ went to the bathroom, I told her quarry that he had better take care of her or she was going to explode. S___ was in the midst of a drought and had nearly forgotten what sex with another person was like. After her boy was admonished by the owner of the bar not to smoke pot at his club, S___ returned from the bathroom. She and he chatted it up, and I ignored them. I have no idea what they were talking about. I was scanning the crowd for a potential mate of my own.

After awhile we decided to begin the migration toward S___'s car. We walked to CJ's and had a beer there. Then it came time to rush to last call at Mary's. They walked and I went to grab my car over by the Rose and drive there. I got there just in time to be turned down. So I headed back outside and saw my drinking buddies walking up the street. I told them the sad news that we had missed last call. We had some glossy, smiley words about something inconsequential that put a ribbon on the top of the evening, and I went off to my car.

I felt happy for them and that which they were about to do, and buzzed and empty and disappointed for myself. All I wanted at that point was to get to my sleeping arrangement without being detected by any law enforcement officer. At least I was successful in that.